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BAGLESS ‘N BUMMIN’
Bagnesia: When you forget to bring the poop bags.
The “Oh Shit” Poop: This is when your dog poops, and you suddenly realize you do not have a poop bag.
Impoopization: When you find yourself bagless, and you have to improvise with some found object in order to extricate the poop from someone’s lawn. Common impoopization tools include the plastic bag from someone’s newspaper, a large leaf, or some kind of wrapper or other litter that you should be so lucky to find. If no impoopization tools are available, opt for a distraction technique such as obscure-a-poop.
Obscure-a-poop: This is when there is no way to impoopivize, so you have to find someone way to 1.) obscure the pooping, or 2.) obscure the poop. To obscure the pooping, you should pretend you don’t see the dog pooping, and perhaps call attention to another dog or a pretty garden. To obscure the poop, find some way to casually move some leaves over it or kick some dirt on it. Of course, these techniques should only be used as an emergency measure when you can’t impoopivise.
The "Please Don’t Poop" Prayer: A special prayer for use when you realize you have forgotten the poop bag. It goes like this: Now I walk you down the street, I pray the lord your poop to keep. And if that poop you do set free, I pray the lord no one will see..
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